


Orange Juice

by BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam



Series: The Juice Box Chronicals [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28848753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam/pseuds/BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam
Summary: For Patton, physical affection is as important as food, but he never told anyone else that, he didn't want to hurt them.TW negative thoughts, starvation, self-destructive behaviors
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: The Juice Box Chronicals [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121915
Comments: 17
Kudos: 98





	Orange Juice

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know Janus's name when I wrote this so...

Patton was Thomas’s morality, and as such it was his job to keep everyone emotionally stable. Patton, being the fatherly side he is, took this in his stride. He loved taking care of the others, and seeing smiles on their faces, even if they were small and hidden, was all the thanks he wanted and needed. He didn't ask for attention or affection in return. He didn’t need it, as far as he was concerned.  
He spent his days cleaning up after his boys, calming them out of fights, comforting them if they felt bad. He made sure Virgil ate and drank enough and he was always there to make sure he felt included and loved. He made sure Roman got to bed at a decent time and made sure any injuries he received in the imagination were taken care of properly. He brought Logan snacks and drinks while he worked and tucked him gently into bed if he fell asleep at his desk.  
He’d made it a point to visit Deceit and Remus more often after he realized how lonely they must be. After his first two visits he had decided they too were now his children. Deceit worked even harder than Logan and even though he made it a point to take care of himself, he would often times get carried away with all his other tasks. When Patton made breakfast for his precious babies, he made sure to include Remus and Deceit in it, because neither of them would end up eating if he didn’t.  
He brought food and coffee or water to Deceit’s room at meal times, always finding him hunched over his desk- which was covered entirely with different books and papers- or adding to the bulletin boards that lined his walls- they were covered in pictures and clippings connected by thread and push pins, and Patton didn’t have a clue what any of it meant. Once in a while, he’d find Deceit passed out in his chair or on the floor, and Patton would tuck him in and make sure he was comfy. He’d take that time to tidy up the little snek’s room a touch as well. Poor thing never had the time.  
Remus, in Patton’s opinion, had it worse. He was alone in his room almost all day every day, and it clearly hadn’t done him any good. His bed was covered with stuffed animals, each with a different name and personality- as Patton had learned- and they were all Remus’s friends. Except for Dave, the bird. Apparently, Dave was a snitch. His favorites were a yellow snake, a green octopus, a red dragon, a purple cat, an indigo unicorn, and a blue dog which he had named, respectively; Dee, Slimy, Roman, Virgil, Logan, and Patton. He also seemed to favor an orange sloth, but Patton couldn’t recall its name.  
These, Remus explained, were the only things that loved him. And he had said it with such a bright smile and in such a nonchalant way, it had broken Patton’s heart into little pieces. It was because of that that Patton had decided to stop by for at least an hour every day and play with Remus for a while. In a lot of ways, Remus was a child. He played with stuffed animals, loved it when Patton came to play with him, laughed at the silliest and most random things, and- as Patton found- adored apple juice with a ferocity similar to that of Logan’s love of Crofters Jam.  
Patton found that when Thomas was feeling sound and stable, Remus was delightful. He was giggly, and cuddly, and just wanted to be loved. He still made a lot of jokes Patton didn’t quite understand, but he wasn’t overly gross, so Patton didn’t mind. He would sit with him for a while and play as the little blue dog. Remus would play as Slimy or sometimes his black rat Greasy. A lot of the time, when Patton got up to leave, Remus would beg him to stay a little longer- to which Patton almost always caved- and would still look so soul crushingly sad when Patton absolutely had to leave later.  
Patton, for one, was glad Remus got so cuddly when he was with him. As Thomas got more stressed, the other sides became busier and had much less time for Patton. The already limited amount of time he got to spend talking to or holding his babies zapped away to almost nothing. Already, Patton got very few cuddles or hugs. Roman was constantly here or there, fighting this or saving that. Virgil got overwhelmed so quickly, and Patton didn’t want to hurt his precious storm cloud. Logan didn’t like physical affection. Or verbal affection for that matter. He didn’t like it when Patton tried to cuddle with him and never returned his loving words or phrases. Patton didn’t even want to know what Deceit would say if he asked for cuddles.  
For most people, the only problems this would cause are emotional and mental, but for Patton, the effects were very much physical. He would become shriveled and emaciated with the absence of physical affection; it was like food to him. He had lost a bit of weight over the most recent weeks, but the time he spent with Remus was enough to at least keep him on his feet. The best part was, no one had noticed. Everyone would be able to get through this stressful period and then everything would be better again. Patton would never have to tell them a thing. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized things wouldn’t go back to normal. How could he return to forcing his favorite people in the world to be unhappy? It didn’t matter, he decided, it didn’t matter because he was fine. Remus wanted cuddles, and it was enough for him. He was still on his feet, he could still take care of his babies, so everything was fine. Until it wasn’t.  
Thomas had become increasingly delicate in the past few days, and it was wearing on Logan’s nerves. He could not stand the way their host had been acting lately. It was as though he were made of carnival glass. The smallest thing would push him to tears, and everything was overwhelming him. Logan, after checking a few things and mentally running a few scenarios, came to the conclusion that Patton was at fault. He also knew, however, that Patton would never neglect his duties or purposely harm Thomas. He then deduced that something was harming Patton, and he simply could not stand for that.  
“Patton?” He called to the Moral trait, hoping to talk with him about what may be happening. Strangely enough, Patton didn’t show up right away. That was enough to raise some red flags. It was extremely out of character behavior for the fatherly trait. He called for him again, this time letting a bit of the urgency he felt bleed into his voice. This time, Patton was beside him immediately.  
“Logan, kiddo, is everything okay?” His worried voice put the logical side somewhat at ease. Logan allowed himself a breath sigh of relief.  
“Yes, Patton.” He replied with a shallow nod. “I became worried when you didn’t show right away. It is out of character for you, and Thomas has been displaying emotional issues.” Patton could feel the blood draining from his face. Oh god, he was hurting Thomas… and his babies were starting to worry already. Everything was falling apart and it was all his fault. Logan seemed to pick up on Patton’s distress, but clearly didn’t know what was causing it. “Where were you just now, Patton?” He asked slowly.  
“I was with Remus, but-” Logan slammed his book shut, cutting off Patton’s explanation.  
“Did he hurt you?” He asked lowly, rising from his chair.  
“No! We were just hanging out in his room, and-” Patton was cut off again.  
“You were in Remus’s room?” Logan asked him.  
“Well, yeah.” Patton answered. “He was only playing-”  
“He did hurt you.” Logan challenged.  
“No, wait-” Logan interrupted him again.  
“Patton, I know you’ve been working really hard lately on ‘saving’ the dark sides, or whatever it is you’re doing with them, but I think it’s time you stopped.” He held up a hand to silence Patton’s next protest. “I understand it may be hard to let go of something like this, but the fact of the matter is, they are not going to change. You can’t fix them.”  
“Oh, but Logan, I’m not-”  
“Patton, I know you want to help everyone, but you have to accept that some people are both out of reach, and not worth helping.” Patton felt as though an ice pick had been shoved through his heart at Logan’s words. Was that how they all felt about him?  
“Lo, what do you mean?” He could hear the tears in his own voice. Logan sighed, a heavy, tired sound.  
“Just… don’t leave the light side for awhile.” He said, a look somewhere between concern and annoyance on his face. “Can you do that for me?” He doesn’t even think you’re capable of doing something as simple as that. What kind of Morality ditches his family just because a darkside is willing to hug his ungrateful ass, huh? He tried to smile at Logan.  
“Of course, kiddo.” He said shakily. Logan nodded curtly and sat back down.  
“If at any point Remus or Deceit approach you, please do not hesitate to come to one of us… Roman, Virgil, or I, alright?” Logan said. Patton nodded miserably. What the hell was he going to do? Remus was the only one who wanted cuddles… and good god, Patton was the only one who even spared him a glance. What was going to happen to the poor goblin?  
Patton did just as Logan asked him. He stayed away from the dark side. It had only taken a day for it to catch up with him; he was so cold and sore. But he was still standing, and that’s what was important. He could still funnel all of his energy into his kiddos, even if he had a lot less to give lately. No one knew, no one was worried, everything would be okay. At least, he thought no one was worried. Of course nothing could be that simple.  
Virgil was easily the most observant of the sides, and Patton had been worried for quite some time now that he would figure out something was wrong with him. Maybe then they could get rid of me. Can they get another Morality to replace me? It would be nice if they could get a better, stronger Morality. They deserve it. It had been around breakfast time two days later, the first time Patton had a major problem. He’d been cooking, so he was holding a knife, when a dizzy spell overcame him. He would have toppled over, and likely would have seriously hurt himself, if Virgil hadn’t been there. The anxious trait hand grabbed him securely from behind, tucking the slightly smaller side safely against his chest, while one hand had gently grasped the wrist of the hand Patton held the knife in. Patton had to hold back a desperate squeak as Virgil’s arms tightened protectively around him.  
“You don’t look like you’re feeling too well.” Virgil said, his voice full of concern. He gently took the knife from Patton’s hand and placed it on the counter, away from the edge. “Are you okay, PopStar?” Patton only nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. Virgil frowned. “Have you lost weight?” He asked. Patton didn’t know what to say to that. The truth was yes he did, but he couldn’t tell Virgil that, but he didn’t want to lie. What else could he do? Thankfully, before he had to answer, Roman burst into the kitchen, singing Little April Showers quite dramatically. “Dude, that is such a random song.” Virgil informed him frankly. Roman merely smiled at him, and sang louder. “Fuck off.” Virgil grumbled, a fond look to his eye. Roman finished singing the song only a moment later, and as Virgil was releasing Patton, Roman swept the paternal trait into his own arms. Patton forced a giggle at the spontaneousness and silliness he normally loved to see in Roman.  
“Padre,” Roman began, “What say you and I watch a couple Disney movies together? It’s been far too long since I’ve got to have a proper movie night with my favorite dad.” He smiled in his over dramatically charming way. “After breakfast we can cuddle up on the couch and get lost in the wonderful world of Disney!” Patton smiled brightly, a real smile.  
“That sounds great, Roman.” He said genuinely.  
“You should come watch with us.” Roman offered to Virgil. And Patton, despite himself, felt his stomach and heart fall away. It wasn’t a secret that Virgil and Roman were dating, and Patton did not want to intrude on what would likely be a perfectly lovely time shared between boyfriends. But just as soon as Patton’s hopes for cuddles died, Virgil frowned and said;  
“Sorry, I’ve still got a lot of work to do. Logan and I have to go take care of that practical exam Thomas has, and then I have to go figure out why the hell Joan hasn’t been talking to us as much lately- I’m pretty sure we did something wrong with them by the way.” Patton winced at the thought of having hurt Joan somehow, but Roman swooped into the rescue again.  
“I’m sure Joan’s just busy.” He said, soothingly. Patton couldn’t help but agree, especially with all the warmth he was soaking up from Princy. “You’re right though,” He sighed. “You and Logan have a lot of work to do right now.” Virgil nodded. Patton felt extremely guilty at having basically stolen Virgil’s boyfriend for the day, but Virgil seemed to practically read his mind.  
“Don’t worry about it Pat, have a good time with Roman, I honestly don’t mind at all.” He ruffled Patton’s hair fondly. “Princy, come help me finish up breakfast.” Patton squeaked.  
“You don’t have to.” He said, even as Roman started washing his hands.  
“We know, Padre.” Roman assured him. “We want to help.”  
“You seem a little overworked lately.” Virgil added. Patton flushed scarlet. They don’t even trust you to be able to finish making breakfast. He felt tears stinging at his eyes, and unfortunately, Virgil noticed. “Pat what’s wrong?” He asked immediately.  
“Nothing!” He said immediately, then winced as the realization that he’d just lied to two of his four best friends.  
“That isn’t true.” But Virgil’s voice wasn’t accusatory. Tears spilled over Patton’s cheeks, even as he fought to hold them back.  
“Padre, you can tell us anything.” Roman insisted. “We want to help you.”  
“I believe I am at fault for Patton’s less than ideal mood.” Logan was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his expression unreadable, but his gaze cast at the floor.  
“What did you do?” Virgil asked, a little too gruffly.  
“I had become worried by both Patton’s decreased productivity and efficiency and his slightly out of character behavior. Against what both you and Roman advised me, I spoke with him about it and attempted to solve the issue.” He sighed, then redirected his attention toward Patton. “I should not have tried to order you around.” He told him, sounding sincerely apologetic.  
“Oh Logan, sweety! That isn’t it at all!” Patton yipped. “I know you were just trying to look out for me.”  
“You said; that’s not it at all. That entails that there is something.” Logan said slowly. “Patton, dearheart-” Patton felt his eyes grow wide and his face heat up at Logan (Logan!) using a cute nickname for him, “Please tell us what it is that is hurting you.”  
“I…” How the hell was he supposed to do that? What would he say? Oh yeah, I’m a selfish bastard and you have to give me love and cuddles or I’ll just throw a huge fit. “I can’t.” He finally said.  
“Is someone threatening you?” Virgil asked immediately. Patton didn’t miss how Logan’s fists clenched and Roman’s hand instinctively gripped his sword.  
“No!” Patton squeaked. “Nothing like that! I just… I don’t want to hurt you.” He sniffed and tried to hold back more tears. Oh yeah, great Patton. Cry about it some more, that’ll help.  
“How would telling us what’s upsetting you hurt us?” Roman asked, his brows furrowed and his expression sad.  
“I agree with Roman, that sounds highly improbable.” Logan said gently. “I believe you could only do good by telling us what the issue is.”  
“I… I…” Patton was finding it hard to form the words he was thinking. Why was it so hard for them to just let him take care of them like he used to? He was content cleaning up after them, and tucking them in, and making their food. He liked that! But this… this was scary. “I just can’t!”  
“I think we can.” Everyone turned to look at the door way. Standing there, was Deceit and Remus; the latter with his arms full of stuffed animals.  
“Lookit Pat! I brought our friends to you today!” Remus said, over exuberant. Deceit spared Remus an annoyed, exasperated look.  
“If you know what’s happening to him, just tell us.” Virgil growled savagely.  
“Someone please call off the guard dog.” Deceit yawned tiredly. Roman glared at him.  
“If you don’t have something helpful to say, get out of here.” He barked. Deceit rolled his eyes, another witty phrase clearly at the tip of his tongue, but Remus butt in.  
“Dee says Pat’s touch starved.” He said matter of factly. Logan visibly stiffened.  
“Of course touch starvation would be literal in the case of a Moral side.” He muttered to himself.  
“Wait, Patton’s starving to death because we haven’t been giving him physical affection?” Roman sound appalled at the very idea.  
“It appears that way, yes.” Logan replied. He too, sounded very nearly ill. Now they know how selfish and awful you are. Maybe it won’t be too bad if they throw you in with the dark sides. Remus is pretty nice sometimes.  
“It really isn’t that big of a deal!” Patton tried to assure them. He made to back up, forgetting that Virgil was behind him. Lean, strong arms wrapped around him again, and this time, Patton didn’t bite back his sob of desperation.  
“It is a big deal.” Virgil growled protectively. Protectively? Oh god what does he think I’m going to do to the others? My precious babies? But it became apparent that Virgil’s protectiveness was once again aimed towards the paternal figure. He tightened his arms around him again. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Virgil asked, lifting Patton up with such ease he looked sickened by it.  
“I didn’t want to force you to love me.” He barely whispered it, but everyone heard.  
“Fuck. Patton, we do love you.” Roman said weekly. “We always have.” Patton felt himself tearing up.  
“None of us have anything against showing you physical affection Patton.” Logan said softly.  
“Promise?” Patton could hear the sorrow ringing in his words.  
“Promise.” Virgil growled.  
“I’ll take care of breakfast.” Deceit said suddenly, waving them towards the living room. “You all go take care of Patton.”  
“You don’t have to, I’m fine.” Patton tried to assure them, but he suddenly found himself being whisked into the living room by a pouting Virgil.  
“We don’t have to.” Virgil agreed, situating himself in the middle of the couch with Patton held tightly to his chest. “But we’re going to.” He flashed a tiny smile down at Patton. Patton smiled back and Roman and Logan sat themselves down on either side of them. Roman put his arm around Patton’s shoulders and Logan grasped one of his hands. Patton blushed scarlet red.  
“Thank you so much for this.” He whispered.  
“You don’t have to thank us.” Roman said softly.  
“We love you, Patton.” It took him a moment to understand that Logan was the one who had said it.  
“I love you too, Lo.” He felt himself tearing up again.  
“We’re taking care of you today, Pat!” Remus grinned a too wide grin and gently shoved the blue dog into his chest. He then offered Patton a small juice box while he poked the straw in.  
“Orange juice?” Roman raised an eyebrow at Remus.  
“It’s his favorite.” Remus explained.  
“I know that, but how did you know that?” He asked.  
“He mentioned it, I just remembered.” Remus shrugged.  
“Thank you kiddo.” Patton said honestly, as Roman smiled proudly at his brother.  
“Anything for my happy pappy Patton.” Remus grinned, plopping his octopus on his head. Patton giggled, and as Deceit brought in a large tray of eggs, sausage, and pancakes, Patton knew that everything was going to work out okay.


End file.
